13
Things You Should Never Say At Work
The difference between the almost right word
and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the
lightning-bug and the lightning. – Mark Twain
Darlene
Price, author of Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get
Results, concurs. “Words matter,” she says. “They are a key
component of persuasive communication. Regardless of the audience, topic, or
industry, or whether the setting is a stand-up presentation, sit-down
conversation, telephone discussion, or an online meeting, a leader uses
language to influence someone’s mind in order to achieve a certain result.
That’s one reason they’re seen as leaders; their words compel people to
follow.”
Therefore,
if you want to be perceived as a leader in the workplace, a great place to
start is by deliberately choosing to speak words and phrases that are
empowering to yourself and others; to use language that captivates, motivates,
and inspires; and to communicate a vocal image that conveys clarity,
confidence, and credibility, she adds.
“In
speaking with hundreds of executives and senior leaders over the past twenty
years, certain phrases consistently come up as career-limiting phrases that
jeopardize one’s professional image and potential for promotion,” Price says.
“To the speaker they may seem like harmless words, however, to the listener they
reveal a more critical issue: In a workplace where employers must be
cutting-edge, competitive, and cost-effective, employees who use these phrases
will likely be replaced with those who convey a more positive attitude,
collaborative spirit, proactive behavior and professional demeanor.”
Here are 13 phrases that should be banned
from the office:
“It’s
not fair.”
She got a raise, you
didn’t. He was recognized, you weren’t. “Some people have food to eat while
others starve,” Price says. “Injustices happen on the job and in the world
every day. Whether it’s a troubling issue at work or a serious problem for the
planet, the point in avoiding this phrase is to be proactive about the issues
versus complaining, or worse, passively whining.” Instead, document the facts,
build a case, and present an intelligent argument to the person or group who
can help you.
“That’s
not my problem,” “That’s not my job,” or “I don’t get paid enough for this.”
If you asked someone for
help, and the person replied with one of the above phrases, how would you feel?
“As importantly, what would it say about him or her?” Price says. “Regardless
of how inconvenient or inappropriate a request may be, it is likely important
to the other person or they would not have asked. Therefore, as a contributing
member of the team, a top priority is to care about the success of others (or
at least act as though you do).” An unconcerned, detached and
self-serving attitude quickly limits career advancement.
“This doesn’t mean you have
to say yes; it does mean you need to be articulate and thoughtful when saying
no,” she adds. “For example, if your boss issues an unreasonable request,
rather than saying, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t get paid enough for
this,’ instead say, ‘I’ll be glad to help. Given my current tasks of A, B, and
C, which one of these shall I place on hold while I work on this new
assignment?’ This clearly communicates teamwork and helpfulness, while
reminding your boss of your current work load and the need to set realistic expectations.”
“I
think…”
Which of these two
statements sounds more authoritative?: “I think our company might be a good
partner for you.” Or, “I believe…” “I know…” or “I am confident that our
company will be a good partner for you.”
“There is a slight difference
in the wording, however the conviction communicated to your customer is
profound,” she says. “You may have noticed, the first phrase contains two weak
words, ‘think’ and ‘might.’ They risk making you sound unsure or insecure about
the message. Conversely, the second sentence is assertive and certain. To
convey a command of content and passion for your subject, substitute the word
‘think’ with ‘believe’ and replace ‘might’ with ‘will.’”
“No
problem.”
When someone thanks you,
the courteous and polite reply is, “You’re welcome.”
“The meaning implies that
it was a pleasure for you to help the person, and that you receive their
appreciation,” Price says. “Though the casual laid-back phrase, ‘no problem’
may intend to communicate this, it falls short. It actually negates the
person’s appreciation and implies the situation could have been a problem under
other circumstances.” In business and social situations, if you want to be
perceived as well-mannered and considerate, respond to thank you’s with,
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll try.”
“Imagine
it’s April 15th and you ask a friend to
mail your tax returns before 5pm on his way to the post office,” Price says.
“If he replies, ‘Okay, I’ll try,’ you’ll likely feel the need to mail them
yourself.” Why? Because that phrase implies
the possibility of failure.
“In
your speech, especially with senior leaders, replace the word ‘try’ with the
word and intention of ‘will.’ This seemingly small change speaks volumes,”
she adds.
“He’s
a jerk,” or “She’s lazy,” or “My job stinks,” or “I hate this company.”
Nothing tanks a career
faster than name-calling, Price says. “Not only does it reveal juvenile
school-yard immaturity, it’s language that is liable and fire-able.”
Avoid making unkind,
judgmental statements that will inevitably reflect poorly on you. If you have a
genuine complaint about someone or something, communicate the issue with tact,
consideration and neutrality.
“But we’ve always done it that way.”
“The
most effective leaders value innovation, creative thinking and problem solving
skills in their employees,” Price says. In one fell swoop, this phrase reveals
you are the opposite: stuck in the past, inflexible, and closed-minded.
“Instead say, ‘Wow, that’s an interesting idea. How would that work?’ Or,
‘That’s a different approach. Let’s discuss the pros and cons.’”
“That’s
impossible” or “There’s nothing I can do.”
Really? Are you sure you’ve
considered every single possible solution and the list is now exhausted? “When
you make the mistake of saying these negative phrases, your words convey a
pessimistic, passive, even hopeless outlook,” Price says. “This approach is
seldom valued in the workplace. Employers notice, recognize and promote a
can-do attitude. Despite the glum circumstances, communicate through your words
what you cancontribute to the
situation.”
Instead, try something
like, “I’ll be glad to check on it again,” “Let’s discuss what’s possible under
these circumstances,” or, “What I can do is this.”
“You
should have…” or “You could have…”
You probably wouldn’t be thrilled
if someone said: “You should have told me about this sooner!” Or, “You could
have tried a little harder.” “Chances are, these fault-finding words inflict
feelings of blame and finger-pointing,” Price says. “Ideally, the workplace
fosters equality, collaboration and teamwork. Instead of making someone
feel guilty (even if they are), take a more productive non-judgmental
approach.” Say, “Next time, to ensure proper planning, please bring this to my
attention immediately.” Or, “In the future, I recommend…”
“You
guys.”
Reserve the phrase “you
guys” for friendly casual conversations and avoid using it in business.
“Referring to a group of people as ‘you guys’ is not only inaccurate if women
are present, it is slang and lowers your level of professionalism,” Price
explains. With fellow professionals such as your boss, co-workers and clients,
substitute “you guys” with terms such as “your organization” or “your team” or
simply “you.”
“I
may be wrong, but…” or “This may be a silly idea, but…”
These phrases are known as
discounting, Price explains. They diminish the impact of what follows and
reduce your credibility. “Remember that your spoken words reveal to the world
how much value you place on yourself and your message. For this reason,
eliminate any prefacing phrase that demeans the importance of who you are or
lessens the significance of what you contribute.”
Don’t say, “This may be a
silly idea, but I was thinking that maybe we might conduct the quarterly
meeting online instead, okay?” Instead, assert your recommendation: “To reduce
travel costs and increase time efficiency, I recommend we conduct the quarterly
meeting online.”
“Don’t
you think?” or “Okay?”
These phrases are commonly
known as hedging—seeking validation through the use of overly cautious or
non-committal words, she says. “If you truly are seeking approval or looking
for validation, these phrases may well apply. However, if your goal is to
communicate a confident commanding message and persuade people to see it your
way, instead of hedging make your statement or recommendation with certainty.”
Imagine an investment
banker saying, “This is a good way to invest your money, don’t you think? I’ll
proceed, if that’s okay with you.” Instead, you’d probably want to hear
something like: “This strategy is a wise investment that provides long-term
benefits. With your approval, I’ll wire the money by 5pm today.”
“I
don’t have time for this right now,” or “I’m too busy.”
“Even if these statements
are true, no one wants to feel less important than something or someone else,”
Price says. To foster positive relations and convey empathy, say instead: I’d
be happy to discuss this with you after my morning meetings. May I stop by your
office around 1pm?”
These are common phrases
that might be difficult to eliminate completely from your everyday
conversations—but the trick is to gain awareness of the language you’re using.
“As is often the case with bad habits, we are unconscious of the fact we’re
saying career-limiting words and phrases,” Price says.
Here
are a few tips to build self-awareness and eradicate the phrases from your
conversations:
Record yourself. When you’re on the phone in
a business setting, record your side of the conversation, she suggests. “Listen
carefully to the recording afterward (on the way home from work). Did you use
any of the phrases on this list, or any other words or phrases that may be
perceived as limiting or negative? Write down the phrase you used, mark through
it, and beside it construct an alternate phrase that more positively communicates
your message.” Keep this list handy, by your phone or next to your computer
monitor, and review it daily.
Enlist a buddy. When you’re in meetings
(and may not be able to record), ask a trusted co-worker to listen carefully to
your language. “Ask them to write down any career-limiting words, phrases,
actions or attitudes they perceive to be negative,” she says. “Treat them to
lunch, check your ego at the door, and let them tell you what they heard.”
Listen for these phrases when others speak. When you hear how
jeopardizing these phrases actually sound when spoken by another, it sends a
powerful message to your brain heightening your own self awareness. Price says
you should ask yourself, “How could she have phrased that idea in a different
way?” Or, “What words would have communicated his point more positively?”
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